I promised

I promised I shall change the world. that was when I first went to the church... or when I saw my first movie, some Abracadabra shooting with queens and princes.... I don't remember exactly. Then I promised I shall be good and change myself. I guess it was when I first made my mama cry. And then it started: I promised I shall give a hand to my old fellows, but instead I left them, I promised I shall control my mind and instead I started to forget, I promised I shall write letters to my friends, but I wrote none, I promised I shall fit in time but time is leaving me behind, I even promised I shall not make any promise anymore... and stepped over this promise too.
lies, statements, swears.... words. they are just words. but why they harm? why is this promise always so optimistic against what you know in advance you've missed?
conmiss\e?!?!?!? is this the key to doing what you say you'll do?

I just wished I could change things as I change words